


Amedot Week II: Amedot Harder

by E350tb



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-16
Updated: 2018-07-19
Packaged: 2019-06-11 09:57:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 1,343
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15313008
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/E350tb/pseuds/E350tb
Summary: Another week of pure, purple-and-green Amedot fun!





	1. Beach

**Day One: Beach**

"Okay, what's the story, 'Dot?"

Peridot stood in the middle of the beach, having dug a hole about a foot long. She still dug vigorously, stopping momentarily to grin at her friend,

"I've heard," she said, "That if you dig deep enough, you come out in China. I'll need to adjust course to account for the Cluster, but..."

"Yeah, you can't actually do that, Peridot," replied Amethyst, "Trust me, I tried."

Peridot stopped digging.

"Oh," she said.

She motioned frantically at the small hole.

"What am I gonna do with this?" she demanded, "I've wasted _ten clodding minutes_ on this project! I've gotta do _something_ with it!"

Amethyst scratched her chin.

"We could dig out a _lair_ ," she said at last.

"A lair?"

"Yeah, a lair! Like what a superhero has!" nodded Amethyst, "Because they need somewhere to _brood_."

"Oh," nodded Peridot, "Like in that 'comic' Steven gave me. The one about 'Bat...'"

"Yeah, like that," said Amethyst.

Peridot smiled.

"Yeah," she said, "Let's do that. Let's have a lair..."

* * *

Lapis and Steven were wandering down the beach with a bucket and spade when they encountered a deep, dark hole in the middle of the sand.

Steven leaned over.

"Uh... anyone in there?" he called.

He could just about two pairs of eyes staring back at him from the gloom.

"Join us, Steven..." Amethyst rasped.

"We're _brooding_ ," hissed Peridot.

Lapis dropped her bucket and turned around.

"I'm going back inside," she said.

"Yeah, this is... this is a bit weird," agreed Steven, following after her.


	2. Funland Date

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I nearly ran out of time for this one, so it's a bit short.

**Day Two: Funland Date**

**LOCAL GEMS WIN EVERY FUNLAND GAME, RUIN OWNER'S DAY**

BEACH CITY, DM - A local couple, Amethyst and Peridot of the Crystal Gems, have won every carnival game at Funland in a day, the first time such a feat has been recorded in nearly fifty years. Our reporter caught them as they were leaving the pier, pushing a shopping trolley full of giant plushies.

"Smiley's been rigging those games for years, dude," Amethyst, +5000 years old of the Beach City Temple, told us, "It's about time someone took him to the cleaners. And hey, Peri really wanted these toys, so I thought, 'why not now?'"

"I'm going to name all of them," declared Peridot, unknown age of the Beach City Temple, "They'll be the vanguard of my brand new plush army!"

She then laughed manically.

Their companion, Steven Q. Universe, 14 of the Beach City Temple, declined to comment.

Mr. Harold Smiley, 56 of Crawford Terrace, was inconsolable as he closed Funland this evening.

"Each of those plushies cost me $49.95!" he exclaimed to us, "And they just got them all for something like ten bucks! It's gonna take me months to break even!"

He did however inform us that he intends to double down on the rigging of games to preserve what remains of his income.

The victorious couple have not told us where they intend to put the collection of soft toys, but it's likely they'll need a large room to store them. But as Amethyst told us, 'it won't be a problem.'


	3. Cosplay

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The gang go to a convention.

**Day Three: Cosplay**

Greg drove down the highway, headed west to that greatest of popular culture conventions; San Jose Comic Expo. He'd been driving for a while across the desert, but it didn't matter to him - Amethyst, Peridot, Connie and Steven's animated chatter kept him awake. That and the canteen of coffee, which he'd need to fill up soon.

"You two figured out what you're going as?" asked Amethyst.

"First day's gonna be good ol' Lonely Blade," replied Steven cheerfully.

"Lisa for me," added Connie.

"Oh wow, that's real exciting guys," grunted Amethyst, "Never saw _that_ coming."

"Peridot's gonna be Percy and she's gotten you to be Pierre," Steven pointed out, "That's pretty..."

"Hey! How did you find out about that?" demanded Peridot.

"It's... _pretty obvious?_ " replied Connie.

"It _is_ pretty obvious," Greg agreed.

"Oh, you get back to piloting the vehicle!" snapped Peridot.

"So, you said _first_ day," said Amethyst, "What're you doing on the other days?"

"Well, the second day we're gonna go to the zoo, because there's no panels we really wanted to see," said Steven.

"Yeah, I get you," nodded Amethyst, "Who's interested in the 'Changemorphers' panel?"

"It was good before Mitchell Day got his hands on it," muttered Connie bitterly.

"...but on the _third_ day," continued Steven, "We're gonna fuse and go as Ms. Marvel!"

There was a long silence.

"Who?" asked Peridot.

"Oh, she's from this obscure comic company," shrugged Amethyst, "What's it called... something beginning with M..."

"It's gonna be great!" exclaimed Connie, "We're even gonna be able to show off her powers because of Steven's shapeshifting! I can't wait!"

"Hey, we should do a fused cosplay," mused Amethyst.

"Ames, I can't fuse," reminded Peridot.

"I know," nodded Amethyst, smiling knowingly, "I have an idea..."

* * *

Stevonnie grinned as their arms glowed, retracting them from the stretched out pose they'd been in for the photograph. The photographer, decidedly awed, shook their hand and headed off, looking it the photo on his camera screen and scratching his head.

"Hmm, wonder where Amethyst and Peridot are," they muttered to themself.

" _Look everyone, I'm Highlight Sporkle!_ "

Amethyst trotted past, her head poking out of the mouth of a large, purple pony costume. She grinned as she passed the fusion.

"I'm also Highlight Sporkle!" Peridot's muffled voice emerged from the back.

" _There they are, get them!_ "

"Uh... _we out!_ "

Amethyst and Peridot trotted away, three security guards chasing after them.

Stevonnie blinked.

"Glad they're having fun," they shrugged.


	4. Body Swap

**Body Swap**

The door opened, and Kiki watched as Steven and Connie entered the restaurant. She wandered over to the counter - this should be an easy one, she thought. They usually ordered about the same thing.

"Hey guys," she said as they approached the counter, "You want your usual?"

Steven smiled and put an arm on the counter.

"Actually," he said, "I'm thinkin' something different today..."

Kiki pursed her lips. Did he sound a bit... _strange_ today?

"Okay, what're you after?" she asked.

"Uh... I'll have a large, 'cause _duh_ , large is the _best size_ ," Steven replied, "With salmon... pineapple... pepperoni, lots of pepperoni... calamari... mushrooms... oh, and can you put some marshmallows on it?"

"... _marshmallows?_ "

"Yeah, man, I'm feeling that today," nodded Steven, "Oh, and lather it with ketchup."

Resisting the urge to gag, Kiki wrote the order down.

"Okay, one... very weird pizza," she nodded.

" _Sweet._ "

"Right," said Kiki, somewhat disturbed, "How 'bout you, Connie?"

"I will have..." Connie scratched her chin. "Hmm... this is the first time I've ever consumed foodstuffs, so..."

"Go for _everything,_ Pe- I mean, Connie," whispered Amethyst.

"I'll have... mayonnaise," she decided.

"Just on its own?" asked Kiki.

"No, in a small glass," replied Connie nonchalantly, "Oh, and those Atomic Chilli Chaaaps."

"Uh, the FDA put out a warning about those," warned Kiki, "They cause intestinal inflammation or something."

"Ooh! I've never had _that_ before," said Connie, "Oh, and Am... _Steven_ recommends fish sticks' lathered in 'chocolate pudding?' I want that."

"...are you two okay?" asked Kiki, "Is something going on?"

"No, we're functioning at the optimal performance level of our organic forms," replied Connie.

"Okay then," said Kiki, "I'm... just not gonna ask. That'll be twenty dollars..."

Steven paid and they took a seat at the back of the restaurant. Kiki was about to head back and give Kofi their very strange order when the door flew open, and Amethyst and Peridot entered.

"Kiki!" Peridot called, "We've got a problem!"

"Yeah, I think your friends are about to kill themselves," replied Kiki, "Or at least give themselves serious food poisoning."

"Oh no! They already ordered!" exclaimed Amethyst, clutching their hair.

"Kiki, listen very carefully," explained Peridot, "We accidentally swapped bodies with Amethyst and Peridot, and we need to switch back before Amethyst's attempts to show Peridot 'human junk' get them arrested."

"If we don't do it by sundown, we're swapped forever," added Amethyst.

"Yeah, it's one of _those_ cursed."

Kiki nodded.

"Yeah," she said, " _Now_ it makes sense."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Hey E3, didn't you do this exact plot in Jam Bo-"  
> no, absolutely not, that one didn't have pizza


End file.
